Thursday, 27 November 2008

See me see Brazil o.

My apologies to any old readers who may come along and find this. i have no excuses for not blogging all this while, but i swear i was up to something that was very important and only just succeeded. I thought it would take a minute. it didn't.

Anyway na vex carry me commot today.

We got a call this morning to go and get a Brazilian journal because there was an article about Nigeria in it, to say the article was vexing is beyond an understatement.
It was the Brazilian version of The Times which is called Epoca here.
As usual the main photograph was of Oshodi- nothing wrong with that- and then a staff of a Brazilian company in Nigeria was interviewed.
Oh boy e come be like say dis people dey suffer for Naija. there wasn't one single positive thing written about Nigeria. Below is a link to the article in its original form and then roughly translated by yahoo babel. might be difficult to understand but i am sure you will get the thrust of the matter.

http://revistaepoca.globo.com/Revista/Epoca/0,,ERT17663-15227-17663-3934,00.html

Beliza Ribeiro




In ENGLISH(SOME WHAT)

The New York of Africa
The day-by-day of the families of Brazilian executives in the way to the 14 million inhabitants and 300 ethcis groups of the biggest Nigerian city - where to go to the beach demands armed escort.George Osodi
A pedestrian and multitude ambulant occupy a station of train in the city that receives 6 a thousand immigrants every day. Who survives there, survives everything.


It is 5h30 in the morning when the awakening burrow in suíte of couple of the apartment of four rooms, finely decorated and surrounded by varandas. The geologist of Petrobra's Alcindo Moritz, 43 years, been born in Joinville, Santa Catarina, wakes up for one more day of work. Before going for the office, he leaves for the children's school - Luísa, 10 years, and Júlia, 8. The similarities with the routine of any another Brazilian with of superior level and a good job finishes here. Moritz is one of the 13 Brazilians who work for Petrobra's in Lagos, in Nigéria. Day-by-day in the megacidade of Africa, that has 14 million inhabitants and bigger demographic growth ten times that of New York, it is chaotic and surprising, as the mixture of more than the 300 tribes that coexist in the country. To arrive at the American School, a passage of 5 kilometers, Moritz almost loses one hour in the transit.

Armored cars or with armed escorts lead the high executives of multinationals and if they mix the thousand of motions. They are the okadas , that usually take up to three people and some load, and if they get in the traffic - its drivers arrive to remodel the handlebar to make it narrower. In the streets, a sea of pedestrians who carry everything in the head, even mattrasses. It has cows and goats, ambulant salesmen and beggars, many deficient or sick times, that peer in glasses of the cars in ratios never seen in the great cities of Brazil.
Every day, about 6 thousand Nigerians of the agricultural and immigrant areas the arrive in Lagos in job search . They call the city “the New York of Africa”. If she is thus, valley to parodiar verses of “New York, New York”, the music immortalized for Frank Sinatra: If I can survive there, I'll survive anywhere (If I to survive there, will survive in any place).

After the lunch, Pillar, wife of Moritz, picks the children from the school. The return will lead up to two hours. When it rains, the streets, exactly in the best quarters and the center, they transform into puddles of incalculable depth. Pillar fears little to be imprisoned in the traffic that to be literally imprisoned. TheTraffic police of Lagos feels in the right to beat the drivers - enough reason so that rich, black or the white ones almost never direct. Pillar affirms already to have passed the experience that frightens the majority of the foreigners: to be stopped by a policeman and to be led to a police station. “I've never cried so much. They could do any thing to me”. “The vulnerability sensation is total. Still well that I was not with the children”.

Another Brazilian, Terê, wife of Júlio Gontijo, local manager of development of Petrobra's, jumped of the car walking not to pass for the same experience that Pillar. The cost of the rescue of the vehicle exceeded 60 thousand nairas, the weak currency Nigerian, equals R$ 0,0179. The Moritz and the Gontijos live the same in building, a condominium with swimming pool, churrasqueira and square of tennis, in the quarter of Ikoyi. The address is the same of the 13 families of employed Brazilians of Petrobra's. The apartments are decorated with the beautiful African arts, have air-conditional in all the cômodos, including the kitchen. And armored doors.

The policy of the fear, but the violence of the streets and the lack of institucional instruments to deal with it are still worse. The kidnappings of foreigners are frequent. The kidnappings of foreigners are frequent the assaults practised for gangs in the roads.
In accordance with the Itamaraty, about 15 thousand Brazilians lives today in Africa. In the Nigéria, they are about 330. It never had assaults to the building where the executives of Petrobra's live. But Terê and some of its neighbors had been victims of outlaws who had invaded a costume party in the house of a Brazilian who works in a multinational. With men, women and children in the ground, cellular, jewels and the money had been taken, but nobody was wounded. She knows more *”
In the way of the integration Pillar almost never opens the doors of glass and screen of varandas. Beyond the violence, she fears the mosquitos that transmit fever yellow and a type of malaria that kills. Esquistossomose, leptospirose and tifo are some of the illnesses more feared in the Nigéria - this because the majority of the foreigners never heard to speak of lassa, a hemorrhagic viral fever. Endemic in Africa Occidental person, it reaches of the 300 a thousand 500 a thousand people per year, provoking around 5 a thousand deaths. Pillar is extremely careful with the food. Knowing that other illnesses, beyond lassa, are transmitted by excrements of the rats found in grains, she loads kilos of rice each time that goes to Brazil. The foods are expensive - except the bought ones in the streets, in tents that divide space with sewer ditches the open sky and group of bencheses where lizards of red head if camouflage between tomatoes.
Beliza Ribeiro
WITHOUT VEGETABLE


The Brazilian Camila infront of the empty shelves of the market ''LaPoint''.It is necessary to arrive early to buy a lettuce , that cosst R$ 23. To obtain lettuce in Lagos is an epic with marked hour. “Madams” - as the house servants call the masters - of some nationalities stand in queues on thursday from 8o clock in the morning at LaPoint, of Lebanese owners, to open the doors. The Brazilian Camila is one of whom runs for the balcony of imported hortaliças of France. “Madams” if engalfinham to pay about R$ 23 for a foot of coveted green calendars. Its comfortable cars wait in front of the store, in a parking bordered for an immense ditch, full of sewer and garbage. Therefore, until the French lettuces they need to be dived in basins with baby's bottle deodorant.
Barbecues, and picanha of Brazil, and the hole championships that beach a ship the Saturday dawns are the main diversions of the Brazilians. To go to the beach only with the invitation of one who has house in the edge and only supplies of security armed. The risk of being assaulted by gangs in the roads is great.
When they plan to travel, the scripts are safáris in the Kenya or the pyramids of Egypt. The financial compensation does not arrive to be so great, given the high local cost of living. In the private restaurants to the elite, one filé-mignon with mushrooms and vegetables - so good and in so parsimonious amount how much the served ones in Paris - cost around R$ 100. It is a considered price highest, even for the elegant Sky Restaurant, in the top of the Eko hotel in Victoria Island, one of best and the most expensive ones of Lakes, with sight for the city and beaches of the island.

ACCLIMATIZATION
The Alcindo Brazilians Moritz (above, with the Luísa son, of 10 years) and Pillar (to the side, with Luísa and Júlia, of 8) try to surpass the differences and if to integrate, either in visit to a tribe massai, either in the beach Alcindo Moritz believes the possibility of professional ascension for the interaction with the other international operators, in a highly competitive environment, where they are exactly the Brazilians who dominate the market and the technology. The chance demands daily sacrifices. Pillar remembers the hard arrival, when the children were 5 and 7 years. Without understanding a word in English, they were obliged to pass most of the day with professors and children Nigerians and of many other nationalities. With the time, the multicultural conviviality started to be reason of joy and pride. In the day of celebration of the Culture Nigerian, a Luísa and a Júlia already total ambientadas had been to the school - as all, also the South Koreans - dressed the character. They had learned to negotiate with come salesmen of the Lekki, the market where the mother already got used to pechinchar - a so arraigado habit that not to negotiate the price offence is considered. Studying in a school of high standard, them they live the globalization in day-by-day. Between children of governors and granddaughters of former-presidents, they had had to learn in marra to respect the differences. “Less to make coconut and pee in the street”, they say in choir, unresigned with the lack of respect to the plates placed in the streets for the government. After the initial strangeness, the multicultural conviviality it started to be reason of joy and pride “Here, we are the Gringos in colorful shirt walking on Copacabana beach”, says Pillar.
“I feel more curiosity that hostility on the part of them, but is the first time in the life that experiment the sensation of being minority.” For it, the misery the time all around leaves a guilt feeling. The impression of Pillar is common to the majority of the whites, called by the blacks “oyibos”,a word in iorubá that means “without skin”. With we baixíssimos development indices (its Index of Human Development is enters the 25 minors of the world),
the Nigéria if it freed of the English settling in 1960, but she continues immersed in a teia of corruption, under the permanent threat of guerrilla movements. About 80% of the state revenue comes of the oil. The inaquality level is difficult to compare with any another place.

Ironically, Lagos, for its mixture of misery and chaos with an incredible cultural wealth and a genuine joy of living in its children, either today optimum place of the world so that of it are perhaps feel in the skin that most of the humanity - and the one that more grows - is very far from if seeming and of living as estereótipo of what the Brazilians call middle class.


Beliza RibeiroACCLIMATIZATION
The Brazilians Alcindo Moritz (above, with the Luísa son, of 10 years) and Pillar (to the side, with Luísa and Júlia, of 8) try to surpass the differences and if to integrate, either in visit to a tribe massai, either in the beach.


My people is this fair? see brasillians o. Me and them who will complain about being a minorty or being kidnapped. Rio de Janeiro has one of the highest rates of kidnappings in the world.
I'm not here to bad mouth brazilians but i just wonder why a reporter went all the way to Africa only to come out with the same shitty shit.

How have you guys been? Am i back to blogging? I am not sure but why not? Going home to Nigeria soon jaré, make I rest for this people.
P.S Afrobabe na wa for ur blog o, the kain serious warning i get evrytime i come avisiting.... hmm...

Monday, 4 February 2008

rio carnival









and now- the good stuff





just found out one of these chics hopes to set a record for plastic surgeries dancing before thundering drummers in a tribute to the first wave of Japanese immigration to Brazil 100 years ago. I don't think it's this one though.

The 36-year-old star Angela Bismarchi — who had her eyelids surgically altered to look Asian. Wearing little more than silver body paint and black feathered wings, underwent her 42nd cosmetic surgery last week, as she closes in on the Guinness World Record of 47 procedures, held by an American.

Femme says Well done! More grease to all your body parts.

because we dont mind other points of views.

Tuesday, 22 January 2008

rio carnival in santa teresa and botafogo, Nigeria vs. Ghana and...

So Afrobabe has been on my case- its not like i have forgotton blogosphere, i was tagged to do the 7 weired things post by Nneoma and gueirre.... i started but cant think of any more.



carnival started yesterday. finally brasilians are winning me over. its just one big party. imagine the whole of lagos in a drunken haze, dancing on the streets , wierd costumes, and believe me i have seen enough breasts on display to make babies understand those things make adults happy too.










this isnt the main carnival o, just a street party.





a woman was throwing down biscuits and chocolates to the delighted crowd


thats me. i and frank lagging behind with his friends ahead and you bet your ass he is wearing a t. shirt. it was a long walk down santa terésa which is on a hill.



so 7 wierd things about me( i stopped at 3 though)


  1. for a nigerian, i always think about the negatives first. you know how people dont want to think of bad things, or say 'God forbid' first as if that cancells it out? i dont understand this. like once i was like -'' dady u need to take a new portrait picture because when u die we need to have a picture of u to use for the funeral.





  2. i have a thing for bad smells. i always want to know where they come from. Sorry but i wont elaborate.





  3. my other thing is finger nails. im very vain about my nails. i really have nice nails(not the clawy type), just really nice french manicure-ish nails. i think my emotions are connected to my nails, if i break a nail, i wonder whats wrong in my life? as i child, i used to make other children line up and i'd clean thier nails. I HATE DIRTY NAILS. Now i only have frank's nails to clean( we have agreed i cant do it in public any more, no matter how much it irks me.)


I am about to post this but the Nigeria - Ghana match has started. we know we are @#$% ups but who knows?

Yesterday was Iyemanja's day too and like one or two people noted, true true na mammy water. i wanted to see the ceremony but we couldnt get back to copacabana beach in time.

Its my birthday tomorrow so yay!!

just remebered one more wierd thing.

4. I poo poo only once a week.

thats a nice way to end the post i think.

Afrobabe- hope you are happy now ?

Tuesday, 8 January 2008

too hot to be cool

Apparently 2008 is my year of fat.
I am officially no longer a size 0.

Frank and i finally met another Nigerian couple, so Brazil isn't so bad anymore. There is nothing like finding your own and relaxing in Nigeria-speak.
Unfortunately they are away on vacation and wont be back for another 3 weeks. Before they left, we went to a club downtown and actually had fun, then had another part for four that was awesome listening to old Naija hiphop like Azadus and Remedies.

I just remembered i didn't tell the story of the first time i went to a club here.
IT WAS TERRIBLE.
You guys know i had a friend over last year, she wanted to go to a club so i went online looking for an ok club. there was a lot of noise about a place called Baronetti in Ipanema.
if u see hype eh?
It's supposed to be the 'biggest' club in Rio and i believe one of the reviewers words were ''only for the coolest people, if you aren't cool, stay home and read a book''.
heey!
book ke?
me i am cool o.
over cool dey worry me sef.

Na im i wear my best baffs finish, only to go there and ... hissssssss.
Nonsense!
First of all, many still wore their precious havaiana slippers, that we in Nigeria call bath room slippers. The look was still Brazilian casual which is the lowest level of casual.

Even Frank added to the hype. He said he had been there once before and saw Naomi Campbell and Ronaldinho .

Cowbell
i felt like an aunt at a party for teens. There was the longest queue ever, so get in i had to speak English and play the foreigner card.
VIP had more people in it than a molue bus, and they played only techno through out the night.
Who on earth listens to that crap?

We waited till two am when it was confirmed that was the only music genre that would be played.

I don't care what anyone says-Techno is so not cool.

Tuesday, 1 January 2008

New year in Rio de Janeiro

Happy New year people.
The year started with sparks for me with fire works at Copacabana beach. it was really beautiful. I'd heard so much about about new year in Rio but almost couldn't be bothered to leave the house.
Frank was being all Franky and scared we would be mugged, so we left home with only bare necessities. This translates into no jewellery, just enough money for a taxi and some drinks and good old 'cork and shoot'. Unfortunately it refused to 'shoot' this time so we ended up without any pictures. the pictures here are not mine but 'borrowed' from other sites.


I keep forgetting to explain that new year is celebrated here with a festival to the born in Nigeria, but now Brazilian goddess YEMANJA. According to http://www.brazilmax.com/news.cfm/tborigem/fe_carnival/id/7, Iemanjá, also known as Yemoja or Janaína, is one of the deities called orixás(orisha) which have spiritual dominion over elements of nature that include fire, wind, thunder, stones, marshes, and rivers. Orixá worship predates Christianity by thousands of years but it was prohibited in Brazil until recently. (The practice of making offerings to Iemanjá for the New Year was illegal until the 1950s.) African slaves who were forcibly transported from their homelands were persecuted or killed by the Portuguese landowners for following their religion. To protect themselves, they syncretized each orixá to a particular Catholic saint. That way, they could say they were worshipping Jesus or the Holy Mother or Saint Anthony when their masters interrupted their religious services.
For example, Xangô(sango), the god of fire who also rules justice and the courts, became St. Barbara. Oxalá, also known as Obatala, or God the Father, was syncretized with Christ the Redeemer whose statue stands atop Corcovado. Oxum,(osun) who is called Ochun in the Caribbean, is a manifestation of the Holy Mother of Charity (Caridade). The original symbol of Iemanjá depicts her as a buxom African woman but in most of Brazil and the Caribbean, she is depicted as the Virgin Mary sometimes called Mary of the Miraculous Medal, standing in the sea with her open hands extended. She is also presented as a seductive mermaid.


Everyone wears white as a symbol of purity and they throw in roses(usually white too) into the sea to appease the goddess. we saw some offerings on the road side during our walk. we heard how some people drink the offerings left by believers, in Nigeria we wouldn't dare. i remember once a huge traffic jam just before a bridge in Lagos, cars were looking for alternate routes and people behind couldn't understand why until they all drove ahead and saw some serious looking juju. nobody needed to be told to find another route. nobody was going to mess with that s%*! talk less of drinking sango's schnapps. Ha! (and here i mean the real yoruba ass kicking Sango)











but i digress...



Of course most tourists and brasillians are not intrested in this part of the ceremony but any reason to get drunk and grind hips is welcome. The roads were brimming with people making the long walk to Copacabana. Brazilians really know how to have a good time. there was dancing on the streets, parties in apartments and hotels by the beach. Girls rolling hips in ways that kept conjuring the word 'ashawo', men appreciating every swing of the female anatomy and finally amazing fireworks at mid night that made the long walk really worth it.





The part i loved most about the new year was finding a cab to take us home. what can i say?i was tired jare.

Anyways,hope you all have a wonderful 2008.



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Tuesday, 4 December 2007

NEW P.O.Vs.

Wow! There is nothing like going away to give u little perspective.

I cant believe I actually missed Rio, after all my bitching. I'm actually glad to be back, but lets see how long that lasts.

Sierra Leone was a wonderful experience for me. I've always been a bit myopic about visiting other African countries. i just never got the point. i always felt like we'd all be the same.in many ways we probably are, but our different colonial and especially post colonial experiences make our general auras very different.

The new president was being inaugurated the day we got to Freetown. I was surprised to see the people happy and celebratory. All i could think was ''WHY''?
''What are u people happy about''?

The celebrating and cheering on the streets reinforced my old Nigeria feeling. Sierra Leone looked like the pictures of Nigeria in the 60s. Nigerians celebrating at independence, hopeful and thinking in terms of new beginnings.
Old Nigeria.
Old Nigerians.
We know better now.

We stayed in Freetown for 2 days and there wasn't any electricity. A boy at the hotel assured us power would return on the 20th of DEC, and we Nigerians laughed.

They actually still believe.

Nice huh?








To get into Freetown from the airport, we took a ferry. Even though i never appreciate not being on solid ground, I actually liked the ride because again I felt a connection to my dad and his stories of taking the ferry across the river Niger before the bridge in Onitsha was built.









As regards ambiance, what is it about Nigeria or Nigerians that scares oyibos? In S.L, I noticed other ''colours'' walking and doing stuff, without fear. I hear the same is true for Ghana. but oyibos in naija are always jumpy and behave like someone is going to slap them just for being.(That's not to say i haven't seen that).

I expected a brimming -with- violence post war Sierra Leone especially with so many of the youths without work. Can u imagine oyibo coming to Nigeria and staying in a minus one star hotel in Mushin or Ejigbo, using danfos, eating in bukas, making friends with the locals.

The people are hopeful, they have a new president. Sierra Leonians(?) used to be Africa's elite. Let's hope this new beginning is really worth the hope and keep our Nigerian cynicism to ourselves.



What do u think is on this guy's mind?
p.s
I missed blogging.


Tuesday, 27 November 2007

Thanks a bunch

Hi people,
thanks for all the messages. just saw them all today as i haven't had time or the opportunity to use the web.
Everything is wonderful and right now I'm in Abuja. It's such a different atmosphere(of course i mean compared to Lagos)

I have plenty gist as the burial was in sierra Leone. It was a whole new experience for me as I'd never been in any other African country.
Can't wait to start my blog rounds.
Hope you are all fine.