Monday, 17 November 2014

The randomness of it all.

I've always been a bit..cold.. disconnected...bitchy.

When I had my son and he was placed in my arms, I waited for the rush of love that was  supposed to flood me and there was nothing. I remember even thinking he wasn't even cute (he really wasn't)
I'm just one of those people who needs time to 'warm up'.

Enabe was one of those people who used words like bitchy to my online face (after we became friends)
I don't know how or why we became Facebook friends or rather,  real friends via Facebook. I'd known him while I was at university and we certainly weren't friends (although he reminded me later he typed my project for me)

Years later I'm  married and living in Brasil. We become Facebook friends and chat sporadically. It's light and friendly,respectful and  sometimes spar-ry  we talk about Dave Chappelle, and TV and why do Africans become African when they move abroad. He answered this question later when he moved to Russia.

I moved back to Nigeria
New mother and busy.
No time to chat

Then we talk about Mandela and why I don't like him, about the oxymoron that is being atheist and Nigerian. He tells me his age and I can tell he is sensitive  about it. I realize he is my friend.

My family moves again and a better internet connection means we don't have to type to talk.

Some days ago Enabe sends me a message 'call me wa for you o'.

It's strange. We only talk on Skype if we both happen to be on same time.
I call him and he wants me to watch an Oliver the Coque video, explain some Igbo words.
It's a long call, every time it's about to end, we find something new to talk about, he asks when I can send him something I am writing  and then asks me to visit his friend pearl's blog. We talk about Kendrick Lamar and Ebola and going to Nigeria. He hates that the two TV shows with strong black women have white men issues.

He says I should continue with my old blog and then I 'bounce' him because I have to go pick up my kids, he says yeah he has to go play basketball.
It certainly was not a special conversation
Except it is, because Enabe is dead.

Enabe is dead
Enabe is dead.
Enabe is dead

Does not compute.

I have been waiting for it to be real. I bathe the kids and think 'Enabe is dead' then laugh.
Shit cannot be  real.

Enabe slumped playing basketball  (two days after we spoke)

Today I am glad for all the times we text-ed instead of talking. I can go back and read his words and laugh. (And finally I am crying)

and the lord said to me... he said
'when you find a beautiful, witty girl with a formidable sense of individuality, love for football, video games and an affinity or all things Linux(especially Ubuntu, redhat, SLED and backtrack linux), you never let her go, feel me?
'cos if you do, i will find you, and i will kill you.'

and i'm like, yess lord..yess lord (sic)

in the time it took Floyd Mayweather to make $32 million (36 minutes) I made some pretty sick noodles. 

'i will die someday and it will matter absolutely nothing what anybody says about me after my death.whether they sing my praises(fairly or unfairly) or they cuss me out (justly or unjustly)  -(private conversation)

He was a good man, brash and opinionated and funny and true. He was passionate about football, music,video games and  I am sure many more things we never spoke of. I also thought him a feminist.

I can't believe  we will never get to smoke a joint together (we probably never would but it was nice to talk about it)

I cannot imagine  what his family and people who really knew him must feel to be blindsided by this news.

Shit just cannot be real.

Wednesday, 21 September 2011

Nigerian girl raped on video

Frank played truant from work today to take me go kart racing. Driving is the only time I listen to the radio and I came across a lady talking and crying on a radio station, I didn't know what the topic was but her choice of words made me think rape. She was talking about being a mother and how she hoped the boys would be brought to justice. Anyway I got home, and with some words on google found links to a video of a young girl being raped by 5 guys. No I do not have a link, I didn't even want to watch it. Blogs like Linda Ikeji's had a lot of information and featured the angry comments of disgusted and disillusioned Nigerians afraid that nothing will come of the digital cry out and the prerequisite idiots who wonder aloud what the girl did to the guys before she was raped. hmmm.. Sad. Right now the only hope i have about this case is from the woman on the radio saying (honorable) Abike Dabiri and Funmi Iyanda have decided to look into the matter because the truth is the men will not. The rape allegedly took place in ABSU(Abia State University, Uturu) and the vice chancellor's statement is that there is no way this happened in his school. It doesn't matter where this happened, rape and beastiality is not just a Nigerian thing, humans are cruel everywhere. It's also sad that the boys one of whom is a fourth year law student, felt confident enough to video their actions in THESE times and let it get viral. I hope their stupidity takes a big chunk of their asses.

Wednesday, 17 August 2011


Where do I even start. It's been for ever.
But I've decided to come back to blogging. its been.. definitively more than a minute.
Things have changed since my last posts.
I've moved back to Nigeria and now have two kids, so definitely see life from a different perspective. and er.. no. just because I have kids now doesn't make this a mummy blog. I do not intend to tell you how lovely my children are(the lovliest) or how my son said the cutest thing the other day(he really did)or about the cutest pink and brown baby shoes my daughter wore last Saturday.(I swear they were the cutest.)

So why am I back?
I read a couple of my old posts,it was funny remembering where I was at different points in my life and I figured it would be a good idea to have somewhere I can go a-ranting again. It would be nice to have somewhere where I can talk to other people about Louis Theroux's 'Law and Disorder' in Lagos or bitch about Asa's new sellout videos.
So i'm back for real this time and will try to post regularly

Sunday, 9 November 2008

hey everybody, it is been a minute.I have no excuses for my absense

Monday, 4 February 2008

rio carnival

and now- the good stuff

just found out one of these chics hopes to set a record for plastic surgeries dancing before thundering drummers in a tribute to the first wave of Japanese immigration to Brazil 100 years ago. I don't think it's this one though.

The 36-year-old star Angela Bismarchi — who had her eyelids surgically altered to look Asian. Wearing little more than silver body paint and black feathered wings, underwent her 42nd cosmetic surgery last week, as she closes in on the Guinness World Record of 47 procedures, held by an American.

Femme says Well done! More grease to all your body parts.

because we dont mind other points of views.

Tuesday, 22 January 2008

rio carnival in santa teresa and botafogo, Nigeria vs. Ghana and...

So Afrobabe has been on my case- its not like i have forgotton blogosphere, i was tagged to do the 7 weired things post by Nneoma and gueirre.... i started but cant think of any more.

carnival started yesterday. finally brasilians are winning me over. its just one big party. imagine the whole of lagos in a drunken haze, dancing on the streets , wierd costumes, and believe me i have seen enough breasts on display to make babies understand those things make adults happy too.

this isnt the main carnival o, just a street party.

a woman was throwing down biscuits and chocolates to the delighted crowd

thats me. i and frank lagging behind with his friends ahead and you bet your ass he is wearing a t. shirt. it was a long walk down santa terésa which is on a hill.

so 7 wierd things about me( i stopped at 3 though)

  1. for a nigerian, i always think about the negatives first. you know how people dont want to think of bad things, or say 'God forbid' first as if that cancells it out? i dont understand this. like once i was like -'' dady u need to take a new portrait picture because when u die we need to have a picture of u to use for the funeral.

  2. i have a thing for bad smells. i always want to know where they come from. Sorry but i wont elaborate.

  3. my other thing is finger nails. im very vain about my nails. i really have nice nails(not the clawy type), just really nice french manicure-ish nails. i think my emotions are connected to my nails, if i break a nail, i wonder whats wrong in my life? as i child, i used to make other children line up and i'd clean thier nails. I HATE DIRTY NAILS. Now i only have frank's nails to clean( we have agreed i cant do it in public any more, no matter how much it irks me.)

I am about to post this but the Nigeria - Ghana match has started. we know we are @#$% ups but who knows?

Yesterday was Iyemanja's day too and like one or two people noted, true true na mammy water. i wanted to see the ceremony but we couldnt get back to copacabana beach in time.

Its my birthday tomorrow so yay!!

just remebered one more wierd thing.

4. I poo poo only once a week.

thats a nice way to end the post i think.

Afrobabe- hope you are happy now ?

Tuesday, 8 January 2008

Too hot to be cool

Apparently 2008 is my year of fat.
I am officially no longer a size 0.

Frank and i finally met another Nigerian couple, so Brazil isn't so bad anymore. There is nothing like finding your own and relaxing in Nigeria-speak.
Unfortunately they are away on vacation and wont be back for another 3 weeks. Before they left, we went to a club downtown and actually had fun, then had another part for four that was awesome listening to old Naija hiphop like Azadus and Remedies.

I just remembered i didn't tell the story of the first time i went to a club here.
You guys know I had a friend over last year, she wanted to go to a club so I went online looking for an ok club. There was a lot of noise about a place called Baronetti in Ipanema.
If u see hype eh?
It's supposed to be the 'biggest' club in Rio and I believe one of the reviewers words were ''only for the coolest people, if you aren't cool, stay home and read a book''.
book ke?
me i am cool o.
over cool dey worry me sef.

Na im i wear my best baffs finish, only to go there and ... hissssssss.
First of all, many still wore their precious havaiana slippers, that we in Nigeria call bath room slippers. The look was still Brazilian casual which is the lowest level of casual.

Even Frank added to the hype. He said he had been there once before and saw Naomi Campbell and Ronaldinho .

I felt like an aunt at a party for teens. There was the longest queue ever, so get in I had to speak English and play the foreigner card.
VIP had more people in it than a molue bus, and they played only techno through out the night.
Who on earth listens to that crap?

We waited till two am when it was confirmed that was the only music genre that would be played.

I don't care what anyone says-Techno is so not cool.