Wednesday, 16 March 2016

Call me Narcissus.

It's Wednesday night. I'm in my pj's, counting calories.
Something  I said I'd never do.

Yeah well, I'm counting now.
Another very important change is how much I love working out . Who new?

Where I avoided and hated any cardio work out before, now I'm not happy untill I have put in at least 25 minutes of pure speed.
Again, whodhavethunkit?

So I pretty much spend my days working out for an hour and looking at my body in the mirror for 20 more hours. Is it just me or do all athletic people do this?

My ix pack still hasn't arrived, which is why I began keeping track of what I eat.

Let's see how long this lasts.

Thursday, 17 December 2015

Taking stock

I had such a beautiful day today. It's been a pretty good week actually.

Frank is home. Usually that's good enough.

When he has a vacation, he takes care of most of the things I would normally do (I guess I get a mini vacation too)

So today we woke up, he took the kids to school, we worked out together and then he 'followed' me to Kruiskade where I buy all of my meat.

Pretty normal boring married stuff.

But we had lunch first at a restaurant I love at the city Centre called Dino.

And right in the middle of both of us  laughing hysterically, I realise, I could not ask for more.

Except more Creme Brulee.

Monday, 7 December 2015

Fifty shades of Grey review.

I saw 50 shades of grey today and I am surprised to say-  I liked it. It wasn't riveting or anything. It was a simple romantic story.

I realise it may have a lot to do with where I am right now.
Frank has been away and even though he will be back this week, he will be gone for a long time soon after.  I keep looking for romantic movies to watch instead of drama.

So, Simple story.

Guy meets girls.
Guy likes girl.

'Girl, I like you, but this is the way I am.'

'Guy I like you too but, how about you become this way.'

Guy flogs girl on her butt (just 6 times pere)
and Girl runs away like a little girl.


  With the forcasted bdsm, I imagined myself doing a whole lot of cringing.

Instead the sex scenes were gentle, maybe even sexy.  Or its all in my head and Frank  needs to get home ASAP.

Monday, 30 November 2015

Nope! Did not nail it.

I'm lying on the floor of my kitchen. I am supposed to be working out but it's not working today.

It's the first day of week 4 gamma(t25)

So I've been working out for more than 13 weeks and I haven't lost weight. Not one ounce. I'm trying not to care especially since when I began, the goal was to tone arms and lose the last of belly flab so I don't have to suck it in next time I'm in a Baujken dress.

Arms are toned alright, even before I began the gamma which is upper body focused.

I know it's good for me that the last bit of flab on my belly will probably be that last to go because I hate working out. Half of the time I'm thinking about what I'm going to cook as soon as I'm done.

Every time Shaun T says 'go harder, you can do it', I'm thinking 'you must not be talking to me cause I'm on the floor dead, you better get me help'.

I don't know what motivation I'll have when the ultimate goal is reached.

It does feel good to have hard thighs. Just when I accepted my bottom half is a size 8 and bought befitting clothes, I've gone and lost all them inches.

In conclusion. ..

New Jeans!!!!

Tuesday, 10 November 2015

Is 'blob' my new favourite word?

Driving back home after vacationing with extended family, and I can't stop thinking about innocence versus .. not guilt - but knowledge. The absence of innocence is to know

My kids are very sheltered. My husand and I are typical new age helicopter parents. Constantly hovering. This means we are pretty much always with the kids. We only go on play dates if it's ok for mummy to be there, any birthday parties that say 'drop off' are given a side eye and tossed into a bin. Definitely no sleep overs.

I will not delve into the whys today.

Today I'm preoccupied with 'knowing'.
 I cannot protect my kids for ever, they must explore for them selves and then choose for themselves.
I listened to my 6 year old talking with his cousins today and was struck by the lack of sophistication in his speech.  Sophistication is a product of experience.
He pretty much sounds like a child when he talks and right now that's fine by me.

At six I was a voracious reader. Six year old me would scoff at the age appropriate books my son reads under my adult supervision.

I decide to let the kids play without constant supervision and as I walk by a room I hear one cousin ask my four year old if she can twerk.

Oya all of you come out now!!!

Twerk Ko!

But at some point, we will have to let go.

I want strong independent kids.
I have no clue how to go about this.

 Naivety may be cute at six but I know what it does to book smart sixteen year old in university.

Spits them out in one well chewed blob.

Saturday, 26 September 2015



When  white people give you flowers and you are too fucking African to have a vase  know what to do with it.

Monday, 21 September 2015

Help ! I'm drowning, my bones are in my way.

Had my second swimming class yesterday.

The first class was about finding our comfort level and I was surprised to find I wasn't scared of the water.

I've always described my self as scared of water- well I'm terrified of drowning. One day I'll be in a plane crash, somehow manage not to burn in the plunging inferno even though I'll have two heart attacks on the way down and then I'll crash into the sea where I'll drown as theatrically as possible, so that all the people who look at my gnarled corpse, every single one of them will wake up at night screaming "quelle horreur" - they'll all be french you see.

Anyway, just so there's a chance I survive this inevitable  plane crash, l'm learning to swim.

So its my second class, and I'm surprised how comfortable I am in the water. All the years of taking my kids to their swimming classes and it's soon clear that I've learnt a couple of things, except how to float.

So my instructor comes over and hands me a floating device and after a couple of minutes, I'm still unable to just lay flat and be. On Water.
This very nice lady comes back  and says to me
"well its also a matter of how you are built,"

And I'm thinking "geez I know I'm middle heavy, but Shuan T has been kicking my butt for the last 5 weeks and my core is finally emerging from where I kept it six years ago ..."
And instructor lady goes ahead and says.

"Your body is built differently,"
And to my 'hmm?'
She clarifies by saying with some  hesitation
" African American bodies are heavier, so they tend to sink"

I remember thinking  while she was speaking, don't say anything, leave it alone, let it float into the atmosphere to wherever all the lost items we never find again are.
Unfortunately, my eyes and my face rode a roller coaster of 'reallys?' that ended right where it began. If she noticed, she didn't let on and kept explaining about bone density.

Go ahead and tell me how black people can't swim dear white lady.

She soon stops and I say ok and get back to flapping around.

I didn't even think about the fact that I'm not 'African American' until I was in my car an hour later.

Just plain African.

femme and frank

Female and Nigerian

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Semi retired feminist, closet online shopaholic, avid googler, unapologetic foodie who refuses to count calories until they are an acceptable means of barter.

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