ive been to a number of post about inter racial and inter-tribal marriages. but was mostly inspired by experimenters vs knowers
truth be told id rather marry an oyibo than marry a Nigerian from another tribe. for many reasons( or may be just one or two)
first off all Nigerians just have to much wahala. marriage in nigeria is more than a union between man and the chick that he digs. it wasn't until my traditional wedding i finally saw some new angles to my beloved. if he doesn't fight for you at this point, you are fucked. some times i wonder if i have the best mother-in-law in the world because shes not Nigerian. my own mother is very nice to her sons- in law but if u make mistake and say ( my younger and only brother) bob has a girlf... the way her face changes is enough to know your life is in danger. mehn, i pity the girl he marrys.
my sis in law married a guy from another tribe and there was a lot of stress involved as there was in my own family when my sister married a yoruba guy. my parents were relieved when they found he was from onitsha but his father didn't think this was still good news.
(meanwhile, my younger sister was engaged to this guy who is from my mother's village and his umere nne is my dads place. so she hit the jack pot, of cos both parents are ex tactic. they just broke up this week and we still dont know how to tell said parents)
theoretically, i wouldn't mind if I'd fallen in love with a guy from another tribe( there's just one tribe i absolutely wont have anything to do with because I've been through a lot of tribalistic crap with them, call this reverse tribalism if you like). once upon a time i used to love hausa guys but i think that was because i didn't know any.
the truth is i have a strong thing for my own culture and i think the igbos aren't doing too well now culturally. so i want to do a lot to help its matter.
as a woman id be expected to give up my past and integrate with my new people and i just cant hack that.why does this sound sexist? ive had cousins in intertribal marriages where they cant decide what their children will be called. one side calls the child okoro, the other insists his name is anuoluwapo. this is not the same as choosing between peter and paul.
my fellow nigerians know this is true.
ive worked very hard at being igbo, this may sound strange to many people but I'm one of those lagos girls who couldnt speak her language. i say couldnt because i changed that by making a consious effort and going to school in the east. i know HE likes it becos i read his year one diary and this was one of his requirements for his future correct babe( that she speak impeccable English and speak igbo too).
i want igbo to be my children's first language so will have to speak only igbo to them, meanwhile my darling husband is insisting that they speak onitsha igbo. how that one wan take to work now? when u no fit speak and the thing dey for my hand? i guess thats why its called mother tongue.lol
as per racism
a while back my mom tried to fix me up with this oyibo millionaire.
he came to nigeria, went to the village and fell in love with naija and apparently me. but didn't say a word. went back to the states and told my mom because he thought since we are Africans once mama don gree, everything is settled.the guy barely spoke to me except once when he said i looked really good in a dress(we were at a party and the only thing he had seen me in prior was t shirts and knickers)
so my mom calls me on the phone
- hello, nnem( i loved it when she calls me this till i heard her call the house help too)do u remember mr white?
femme- yes what happened to him?
mama- he said he likes you and wants to marry you.
femme- are you serious? why didnt he say something when he was here
mama- well he can always comeback and i know you like white men so i guess you'd be happy
femme- but i told you i have a boyfriend now
mama- ehn. i know but nnem he's a millionaire o.
i was like wow! my new boyfriend and husband to be was still a jobseeker o. his shoes were always praying to god for mercy while slapping v.i looking for work.
mama- he says you don't even have to marry him now, you can just come to school here and wait till you are ready?
this gist was getting better and better.
mama- so what do you think?
femme- na wa for you o, so you'll just let me marry him like that.
mama- whats there? i know his family, his mother. what again?
femme- do you know how old he is?(this is me considering)
mama- he is 40. but forget age.
femme- forget age ke? i'm barely 20.
i gave my boy friend this gist and he said i should marry the guy now, wait one year, divorce him and come back to him and im still not sure if this was a joke or just his feet hurting.
my dad said he wouldnt mind if the guy was 30. i guess all everybody could hear was chi ching.
this is too long . should just stop here.
Female and Nigerian
Who am I?
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